Perfectionism is, in essence, the fear of not being good enough. We believe that if only we are perfect in that area, we will finally be worthy of good things: a successful career, money, love from other people, or health and well-being.
We subconsciously believe that by giving it our all, we can protect ourselves and our loved ones from the pain of feeling that we are falling short.
Steffi van Kessel shares her personal experiences as a “recovering perfectionist,” noting that while she has embraced messiness in certain areas of her life, she still struggles with holding herself to unrealistic standards in the areas that matter most to her.
Perfectionism is characterized as a fear-based response driven by the anxiety of not being good enough, which can lead to procrastination, burnout, and an inability to be flexible and open to new experiences.
The author describes the difference between healthy self-reflection and perfectionism, emphasizing that perfectionism often stems from a deep-seated fear of criticism, both from oneself and others.
The article provides practical strategies to manage and overcome perfectionist tendencies:
- Recognize the critical inner voice: Understand where the self-critical voice comes from and recognize when it appears.
- Pause and breathe: Take a moment to breathe and choose a kinder response rather than immediately acting on perfectionist impulses.
- Be aware of bodily sensations: Identify physical symptoms of stress or tension caused by perfectionism and allow yourself to feel them without judgment.
- Implement calming practices: Find activities that calm the nervous system, such as deep breathing, gentle movement, or engaging with nature.
- Embrace messiness: Intentionally allow some messiness in areas where perfectionism is most pronounced, gradually building resilience.
- Connect with joy: Reintroduce joy and creativity into areas of life where perfectionism previously caused pressure and fear.
The author encourages embracing life’s messiness and finding joy in imperfection to create a healthier, more balanced approach to personal growth and success.
Steffi van Kessel, a somatic coach, specializes in calming the nervous system and processing emotions, and she shares insights on navigating the complexities of perfectionism to foster a more fulfilling life.
Source: The Consequences of Perfectionism and How to Embrace Life’s Messiness – Tiny Buddha
